I don't really like the term "single mother." To me it creates the illusion that I had a child by myself which is obviously impossible. But by definition, I am a single mother. I am not married yet and I've had to raise my now 7 yr old child all alone. I also started motherhood earning $0 monthly. So how did I accomplish a six figure net-worth, $50k in savings, home ownership and cleared all of my debt by the time my daughter was 5, as a "single mom"? Keep reading to learn more!
1. Learn to control your emotions.
I know you thought the first tip was going to be numerical or specific to finance, but it's not. Ladies, you have to learn to control your emotions! Looking back, I was very strict, and this helped in so many ways.
Example #1: I did not have sympathy for my daughter's father whatsoever. We were never together, and he contributed to her existence. Therefore, I immediately went to the child support office when my child was two months old. Often, I hear mothers say, "He's not going to like me if I do it." But guess who's not going to like you if they can't get a toy or new clothes because you cannot afford it? YOUR CHILD. Have no fear and walk straight into family court and file. You laid in your bed; now make it!
Example #2: Do not allow your emotions to make you feel insecure about how much money you currently do not have. Focus on getting more money. What steps can you take to make more money? Assess your skills and then make a plan.
Example #3: Do not feel bad if your child has to be in daycare in order for you to work and earn more. There were moments when I felt bad that my premature child started daycare at 8 months old, but now she is 7 years old with a $420K net worth because of my sacrifice and to be honest early daycare made her very smart!
2. Start Budgeting & Leverage Credit
I got into finance solely because I was a broke single mother.
Story Time: One day, I glanced at my bank statement, and it said I spent $7,000 in July during 2017. I cannot remember where the $7K came from, and I couldn't even tell you where it went. This forced me to sit down and trace all funds moving forward. I wrote out my income vs. my expenses on my dry erase board and then advanced to a printed budgeting sheet. I saw that most of that money came from previous savings and was being spent on home goods that I really didn't need. I also realized that I was over using my credit card and then using savings to pay it back. After budgeting, I cut back so much just to create a positive cash flow. I learned that after all bills, I only had $50 dollars left, and this prompted me to begin applying for jobs that aligned with my worth and paid more. Budgeting saved me, but credit saved me too. Whenever I needed something important, my credit card was used. Apply for cards that will make life easier!
3. Build Your Credit, But Do That LAST!
A lot of my mom clients focus on credit, credit, credit, and, to be honest, it is so annoying! Good credit is only needed when you are trying to move or buy something. If you aren't doing those two things, then focus on savings and assets. And even if you need to move, you should still focus on savings because cash is king!
Story Time: My very first apartment at age 21 had rats, bed bugs, and was in a building that was a walk-up on the third floor in Brooklyn, NY. It was $1450 monthly, and the ceiling leaked when it rained. My daughter was 1 years old at this time. Of course I needed to move, but finding a place in Brooklyn was hard. So while I applied to different places, I simply handled my issues in the meantime. I asked my dad to close all holes so rats could not get in (Rest In Peace Daddy!), and then I discovered that diatomaceous powder would eliminate bed bugs entirely and solved those two issues very quickly. I then asked the management to lower my rent by $100 until the ceiling was fixed. Then later, I held my rent until the issue was solved, and we went to court! Once court was over, I was able to find a 1-bedroom apartment for $821 monthly three blocks over that was for low income earners. That building checked my credit but accepted anyone regardless. Once I moved, I started building credit! You can see that credit was the last on my mind and I focused on holding my cash so that I can move. Small landlords will ignore your credit and accept you, if you got the rent!
4. Ask For Help: Did I Already Say Child Support?
If I did, let me say it again! Put that man on child support! Ensure that you account for everything needed and file a violation if he doesn't pay. Additionally, ask your family to help you with babysitting so that you can work. Ask friends too. You need to establish steady income. Make this a priority and always saveeeeeeee. Child support allowed me to create a cushion for rainy days. And it's not like he paid alot! He was ordered to pay $298 monthly and often never paid. But what he did pay, I saved. I also used the money I saved with child support to buy furniture for that second apartment and eventually some of it was used for the down payment on my home!
5. Get A Daycare Subsidy
Because of my violent situation at the time, I qualified for a subsidy that eliminated daycare expenses entirely. This saved me so much money! Try to avoid paying for day care if you can. If you can't, really rally around family, and create a barter system. Example if you watch my child I will do your hair or clean your house!
6. Always Stay 10 Steps Ahead
From the time you become a mom, you should be planning ahead. This means if you live in an apartment, start planning to get that house. If you make $50K, start plotting to earn $80K. The more you plan and work towards your goals while staying strict and getting help, everything will work out!
Please contact us for financial coaching or credit coaching to assist you on your wealth journey!
Also purchase a budgeting planner to help you stay accountable here.
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